


rippling outward

by badAquatic, orphan_account



Series: Trailerstuck [57]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Discussion of awful yaoi, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 12:46:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2025609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badAquatic/pseuds/badAquatic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone reacts to the recent death in the trailer park differently and Karkat begins his investigations regarding Feferi's seizures. </p><p>Takes place immediately after "all quiet on the eastern front".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. language of the past

==> **Karkat: Keep up the routine**

 

** **

Wednesday morning, you are jogging. You’re _still_ trying to get into a weekday workout routine and the best time is in the early morning. In the evening you’re too exhausted from work and school to do anything. When you return home, Dirk is sitting on the front porch with his eyes closed in what you think is meditation. When you walk on the porch, his eyes snap open.

“I need to ask you for a favor.” He says.

“What is it?”

“Can you…” Dirk hesitates. “I never had a father so I’m not sure how one deals with the death of one, but I’m worried about Jake. He’s pretending everything is alright but I know he’s hurting inside and I...” He trails off.

“Dirk.” You sigh, “Everyone deals with grief differently. I can’t force him to talk about his Dad being murdered, and most likely murdered by his _ex-girlfriend_. If anything…he’s just dealing with guilt.”

Jade and Jake are _both_ experiencing grief. You’ve given them both space so they can deal with it.

“I know guilt well,” Dirk says, “I just don’t want Jake to blame himself for the rest of his life. He’s surprisingly sensitive about failure.”

“Failure?”

“You know.” Dirk makes a wishy-washy gesture. “The failure to be a better son, failure to reconcile with his father, wasting most of _life_ …”

“Its going to take a while.” You sigh. Dirk’s response is a scowl. You think he should talk to his moirail but you’re not sure if he has one. You try to be helpful by neutrally asking, “Is there…something else that’s bothering you?”

Dirk’s hands clench into tight fist and his expression becomes intense. “I could have prevented this. No one should have to see their loved ones murdered. _No one_.”

He looks like he could murder someone right now.

“I think you should talk to Sergei.” You say calmly. Dirk looks confused. “He would understand how you feel. He’s your brother, after all.”

Dirk’s mouth twists into an awkward smile. “You sound like your grandfather. Its like he’s still alive.”

His face is reddening slightly and you wonder…was Dirk red for your grandfather? You know your grandfather was romantically entangled in a quadrantless relationship with the Condesce. Could there have been room for more, or did jealousy get in the way?

“Dirk,” you ask, “ _why_ did you go to Leder?”

Dirk’s smile evaporates and now he’s wearing his poker face. “Why?”

“What was in Leder for you?” you ask, “You said that you hung out with my grandfather before I was born. That means Dave wasn’t born yet either. You were with him since he was born or you wouldn’t have been able to save him.”

Dirk looks annoyed by the Troll Sherlock Holmes gambit. “What are you really trying to ask?”

 _Did you leave New Jack because you were red for my grandfather?_ but you know Dirk won’t answer that. “It seems strange that someone of your sexuality would go to Leder, given how conservative they were. But you stayed for a while and even got married…why?”

“ _Were_? They still _are_ conservatives jackasses.” Dirk sneers.  

He heads up the stairs before you can ask anything else. You may have to ask the keeper of the family secrets (Meenah) about this. You go inside and Jade is on the couch. The dinner with Terezi and Kankri picked her spirits a little. Instead of just sitting in the living room watching awful cartoons, she’s been more proactive about making funeral arrangements. She’s typing on her husktop and talking on a cellphone. You smell Dave attempting to cook again.

“—fact of the matter is that my grandfather is dead _and_ left a will.” Jade argues, still typing, “That means that his property goes into probate and you _cannot_ collect any rent on it or touch the property until the courts have had their say.” She pauses, scowling. “Fine then! Talk to the city attorney. I’m just repeating what I was told. _Sir._ ” She hangs up the cellphone. “Jegus, what an _asshole_.”

“One of the DD’s dogs?” you ask.

“I routed Grandpa’s phone line to a spare cellphone and they’ve been calling nonstop. What part of ‘the man is dead and you’re not getting money’ do they not understand?” Jade rolls her eyes. “For the first couple of days it was just debt bots dialing but I’m finally dealing with people.”

You sit next to her. “How did you route another trailer’s phone line to a cellphone?”

“All phones in this area go by satellite so its easy to spy on another line if you have equipment to do so. The issue is that I can only hook up one line at a time. I need separate cellphones with working battery and SD card to do others.”

“Where did you learn to do that?”

Jade smiles sadly. “Grandpa taught me. He believed in learning how to protect yourself and others when society eventually collapses into anarchy. I’ve also been working on a jamming device. It doesn’t work very long but so far I’ve been able to scramble wi-fi within a five mile radius.” 

“That sounds illegal.” Dave says from the kitchen.

Jade rolls her eyes. “Oh, like anyone cares, Mr. Pirate.”

“I refuse to pay eighty boons for games. I’m not _made_ of money.” Dave answers.

“What is with _everybody_ in this park having crazy survivalist skills in case the world ends?” you grumble.

“Karkat, its important to be prepared!” Jade says, “The world may not end but plenty of other stuff can go wrong. Like, what happens if the power goes out for weeks? Or if a tornado cuts off fresh water? Or a plague affects all the bumper crops and people start starving like during the Red Rot Plague?”

“That happened a hundred years ago,” You say.

“My point is you have to be _prepared_.”

“I believe in being prepared, but there’s being prepared and just being a crazy survivalist. Like that white carapace gun nut you used to live next to.”

“The limehead you mean?” Dave walks into the room with breakfast. It smells edible but its most likely burnt. “We saw him when we were at the trailer. He thought I was the Ghost of Winter Holiday Present. It was awesome.”

“Then he started frothing at the mouth so we had to call an ambulance.” Jade sighs.

“Where was I for this new episode in the Adventures of Hipster Sherlock and Pregnant Watson?” you ask.

“That was the night you were out late and if we’re Hipster Sherlock and Pregnant Watson then that makes you Troll Mrs. Hudson.” Dave says.

Oh yeah. That was the night you got shot in the fucking chest multiple times. The bruises are still fading. “How are the funeral preparations going?”

Jade sighs and pushes the AR goggles up on her face. “I’m talking to Sollux about legal stuff since he helped Eridan. Dave and I found a large cashbox in Grandpa’s room that had a lot of important papers: renter’s agreement, paid bills, unpaid bills, insurance information…”

“And the will?” you ask.

Jade nods. “Yeah. The will was there, listing only me as next of kin.”

It figures the old man would make sure to leave Jake broke. “Does it cover the funeral?”

“Grandpa was a floor manager at Crockercorp so his insurance will cover most of it.” Jade says. “I’m trying to contact his family in Young Britain to see if they’ll take his body back home.”

“Good luck with that.” Dave walks past you and clasps you on the shoulder. “C’mon, crab. School time.”

“Let me shower first.”

Dave is in a hurry to get out of the house. You walk through the pouring rain in hooded ponchos, walking around the still-present garbage piles. The rest of the city gets priority before they come to clean up your district. Assholes.

“I just don’t want her to get her hopes up.” Dave says, “What if the family turns out to be assholes? Jake says his father left Young Britain in disgrace.”

“What _does_ Jake say about this?” you ask.

“Nothing.” Dave shrugs. “I can tell he’s uncomfortable about meeting his family members again but he’s not going to say anything to discourage Jade. It was her grandfather who died.”

“Its still his father.” You touch Dave’s shoulder. “I’m sure you feel awkward about this.”

“What makes you say this?”

“Well…did you ever watch Daria?”

“Of course. Daria is mandatory viewing for all preteen hipsters, nerds, and goths.”

You should have known that. “Do you remember that episode where that guy came back to school and he was a huge dick to everybody and then he died and nobody knew what to do?”

“Yeah. So?”

“Well that’s kind of like what’s going on now. You didn’t get along or like Jade’s grandfather so you don’t know what to do now that he’s dead.”

Dave frowns. “Even though he’s dead, he still gets the last laugh. Now he can leave money for Jade from beyond the grave and he’s probably still giving me that look from the afterlife. You know that _look_.”

The old man always wore the look of someone who knew they were better than you. He physically left Young Britain but never lost the asshole attitude.

“The guy was an asshole but he was still her grandfather.” You need to change the subject because now you’re feeling bad about smack talking someone who just died. It seems like Time’s Clockworks has asshole grandparents on his shit list this year. “Did Jade and you get gene screened yet?”

Dave shakes his head. “We’re scheduled for this weekend. Not looking forward to it.”

You approach the bus stop with the usual cluster of assholes glaring at you. “Strider, it can’t be _that_ bad. Jade and you are fine and its not like they can force you to get rid of it if things are that…mutated.” Dave looks at you but doesn’t say anything. “They can’t do that… _right_?”

“Not legally,” he sighs, “but they can make things difficult.”

“Yeah, but you’re _human._ Being a human in New Jack City is like being a mouse in a house owned by hippie vegans.”

Dave’s too uneasy to smile. “Karkat, when was the last time you saw a heavily mutated human at our school? Fuck, when was the last time you saw someone in a _wheelchair_ that wasn’t from an accident?”

The only person you knew of in a wheelchair was Tavros and he’d been walking for two years now. The only mutated humans you know are Rose and Dave and they weren’t any of the extreme cases. There were whole neighborhoods in other parts of the UTC full of humans with only four fingers, scaled growths on their limbs, skull ridges, or no body hair.

“Very little help goes toward mutated humans, even if they need it. Most insurances won’t cover even the simplest things, like wheelchairs or hearing devices. They won’t even give a blind mutant a walking stick. _Everything_ is a fight.” Dave sighs. “Its really simple: if you’re a mutant and you breed, you’re making things worse. So they do passive-aggressive ways to punish you.”

And all those little passive-aggressive moves add into larger costs for Jade and Dave. There’s no way they could support a needy mutated child. Dave’s lips are pressed into a thin line. This must have been nagging at him.

You rest your head against his shoulder. “If anything, your kid will test for annoying hipster. The gene screeners will be like ‘Oh fuck. _Another_ one of these?’. They’ll come out of the womb wearing an ironic T-shirt and shades and demanding overpriced coffee. That’s what they’re _really_ afraid of: Jade and you creating more gun-toting hipsters.”

Dave smiles wryly. “ _Something_ tells me one will be enough.”

“Oh please. You’re hanging around trolls. You’re going to be up to your knees in shade wearing hipster babies with stupid names like ‘Bookcase’ or ‘Owen’.”

“I like the name ‘Dallas’.”

You ride to school with your annoying hipster boyfriend, biting his ear and earning so many angry looks from humans and trolls alike.

October is monotonous. Things settle into a routine before the mid-term rush of November. Gobblebeast Day is approaching and you’re not sure if you’re doing anything. You have no idea about Strider-Harley-English Gobblebeast Day traditions. Vantases sure as hell don’t have any.

On your lunch break you find Aranea in her classroom eating lunch. They’ve downsized this year so the teachers only have classrooms and not offices. Even the guidance counselor doesn’t have a space anymore.

Aranea’s chewing on a sandwich and looking over some papers when you enter. “Karkat! You’re the last person I expected to see. Well, one of the last. What is it? Have some questions about the Canzian Second Age?”

“No,” you say, “I have some questions about Beforus and I was hoping you could answer them.”

“Oh!” Aranea smiles. “I never thought you’d be interested in that! What would you like to know?”

You pull up a chair and sit across her desk. With how wordy Aranea is, this can take a while. “I want to know about the queen, the Despisal.”

“The Despisal? Well, that’s a difficult subject.” Aranea sighs. “As you know, the history of the Beforus Queendom is fragmented due to the Condesce’s edict that evidence of its existence be destroyed. What remains are the misconstrued folktales passed down and fragments of poetic verse. The same thing happened to East Beforus.”

“I know that. Officially.” You lean in across the desk. “But what can you tell me _unofficially_ about Beforus? Did you ever overhear the Condesce or the GHB talk about it? They were the only ones alive during that time.”

Aranea frowns and her expression suddenly becomes guarded. “How do you know that?”

You stare back at her, letting that be your response.

Aranea takes a deep breath and leans back. “As you know Karkat, I never lived at the Manor but I visited there from time to time with my parents. By the time I was able to attain concrete memories, the Condesce had already left. The only children who had interaction with the GHB would be Kurloz and Porrim. _However_.” She pushes her glasses up on her face with studious focus. “If you want to know about overheard snippets, the person to ask is Kankri. Kankri is the oldest and he was with Condesce most of the time when she was still around.”

Meenah didn’t seem to know much about the Despisal but you’re not sure about Kankri’s triggers in reference to his ‘mother’.

“I guess I’ll try talking to him.” you sigh, “Do you know the fastest way to learn Modern Alternian?”

Aranea smiles. “Well, basic Modern Alternia is easy to learn. It’s a minimalist language with some comparisons to certain ancient human languages though its hard to pick out which ones exactly due to a loss of records but the biggest challenge really are learning the differences between the alphabets and the pictorial characters used in most official documents. Like you could spell your name K-A-R-K-A-T using the basic letters but you could also use specific characters: ‘KAR’ and ‘KAT’. With those characters, your name is translated out to ‘Protector of Bonds’. These secondary characters are loaned from the East Beforan language and a relic of our mingled language with East Beforus cousins before the Cleavage which was most likely caused by—”

“I just need to learn Modern Alternian. I’ll learn the history later.” You pause. “Does my name really mean ‘Protector of Bonds’?”

“Well, the term _kar_ in Alternian is complicated to define. Often it translates to ‘bond’ in English but _kar_ really means ‘all bonds’, not just friendships but caliginous, concupiscent, pale, platonic and so forth. Everyone connected in significant and insignificant ways. There are two different uses of ‘bond’ though. _Kar_ is the inclusive and _kan_ is the exclusive.”

“Exclusive?”

“Well, you are ‘ _Kar_ kat’, _kar_ being inclusive version of bond. You are aggressive in your protection and others accept you for it. For ‘ _Kan_ kri’, _Seer_ of the Bond, _kan_ is exclusive version of ‘bond’. _Kan_ is passive in their seeing of the bond. They see the relationships but are not accepted amongst its own. _Kar_ is interacting with the bonds in an aggressive manner. Really the name ‘Kankri’, ‘Seer of Bonds’, can be negative in certain contexts.

“It means that although you see how close people are to each other, you will never be accepted among them. You’ll always be considered an outsider. You can see it as positive though, given the context that it is a mutantblood name and mutantbloods would always be outsiders. Every character in Modern Alternia has exclusive and inclusive forms. Passive and aggressive. Two sides of the same coin.”

“Anything else I need to learn that’s going to be confusing as fuck?”

“You need to learn the older terminology like ‘loadgaper’ instead of ‘toilet’.”

“What sense does that make? What in the fuck is a ‘loadgaper’? The term doesn’t make sense!”

“That’s because when you get to the more complicated translations and terms, they all translate into old terminology. For example, many Modern Alternians only use two characters to denote gender ‘person’—which can be interpreted as male or gender neutral—and ‘person with heftsacks’. So in Modern Alternian, ‘male’ and ‘genderless’ translate to the same thing and ‘female’ is something specific. However, if you want to imply ‘asexuality’ you have to literally say ‘genderless without pail’. One of those hang-on words from the Imperial era. There’s quite the lively discussion in the Modern Alternian communities about whether it should be changed as it can be seen as derogatory while asexual troll communities argue that they prefer the specification of the characters ‘genderless without pail’ but want to use specific gender with it such as ‘female without pail’. The current translation ‘genderless without pail’ does not use gender so most politically correct translators will say ‘female genderless without pail’.”

You stare at her. You came here to ask about East Beforus and she’s talking about the semantics of language.

Aranea smiles. “I’ll loan you one of my beginner books to Modern Alternia.”

“Thanks you.”

This is going to give you a bitch of a headache.


	2. a conversation with the man upstairs

**== >Karkat: Be ironic hipster dad-to-be**

“…so it turns out my biological father is one of modern history’s greatest monsters.”

“That’s rough, buddy.”

John and you are sitting in the costume and prop storage room. You’re sitting on a couch halfway eating your bagged lunches. John is nibbling his way through a cheese sandwich.

“Seriously? ‘That’s rough buddy’? “I _literally_ just told you my biological father caused the Ortiza Riots and is responsible for _thousands_ of deaths and all you can say is ‘That’s rough buddy’?”

“Well, I don’t really know what to say in this situation, Dave,” John answers, “This isn’t something that comes up often enough where I have a prepared response. It does sound rough and makes sense.”

“ _How_ does it make sense?” you groan.

“Well, this guy—your biological father—was a huge fucking bigot. He kept your mutation a secret which is why you were able to get away. Your appearance wasn’t publicized so they had a harder time looking for you.”

“Yeah, but…” You sigh. “Your Dad was _killed_ during the riots. My Dad is responsible for killing not just your Dad but Meenah’s matesprit too.”

John pauses and then takes another bite of his sandwich.

“Dave, _trolls_ killed my father. Not you. Dad died protecting Mom from trolls who were going to rape and murder her. And why should your father matter to me? You never knew the bastard anyways.” He shrugs. “ _Neither_ of us knew our fathers.”

“Yeah, but I never knew mine because he was a dick who got what was coming to him.” You still don’t know how you feel toward the man. You can’t consider him your father. Fuck, you can’t even consider him a _loved_ _one_ because he didn’t love you. Not even Dirk could spin him in a positive light. “Your Dad sounds like he would _like_ you at least. You could be huge dorky pranksters together.”

John smiles. “ _Mom_ is the family prankster. Dad was just the brave one. I always wanted to be brave like him.” His frown slowly evens out and you can’t read his blank expression. “Mom was brave too and no one ever gives her credit for it. Imagine being seven months pregnant and then the world around you just _collapses_. And then you have to move to _another country_ to survive.” He inhales slowly. “I don’t think I would be able to go on if I saw the person I loved murdered in front of me.”

He stares off into the distance and John looks so much older now. His hair has grown out more and the grey is becoming more visible. He must be thinking about Rose now, hidden away for her own good.

“How’s Vriska? Have you seen her lately?” You think a change of subject would help.

“I see her in East New Jack when we have dress rehearsals and functions out there. She’s usually with this fish troll. Guy _screamed_ tool.”

That must be Nektan, the bane of Karkat’s existence when it comes to Vriska. “Did he say something to you to make you think he’s a tool?”

“No. He just looked like a _major_ tool. Its just one of those senses. ‘This guy’s a dickweed’. ‘That girl is a huge bitch’. ‘That guy is _definitely_ a tool’.”

“Was he wearing a top hat?” John nods. “That’s Nektan Whelan. Karkat hates that guy.”

“Well no wonder. Vriska’s sleeping with him.”

“How do you know that?”

“He seems like the kind of guy to only spend time with people if they can do something for him or if they sleep with him. You know, the kind of person who only hangs out with artists _just_ to get free gift art of their characters?”

“Douchebags.” You conclude. 

“Basically.”

“But what makes you so sure Vriska’s sleeping with him?”

“Because she’s unemployed and doesn’t have any other form of income. She has to have some way of paying her bills and I doubt the city is going to give her anything besides vouchers and food stamps. She has to be getting _something_ out of the relationship.”

“Vriska doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to sleep with someone just for money.” Money and power maybe but not _just_ money with her pride. You’re definitely not telling Karkat this. Its just speculation and would just piss him off beyond reason.

 

* * *

 

You get Wednesdays off so you head home. Jade is asleep and curled up on the couch. You plant a kiss on her cheek and she murmurs and rolls over. You head upstairs and see Dirk isn’t in but Jake is lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey.” Jake doesn’t respond. Fuck, what do you say? You have to bring him out of this mood. “Jake, you can’t keep laying around like this.”

Jake doesn’t answer.

“I mean like, what if I had to ask you a question about stuff and you were too busy moping? I could get the wrong information and it could be super fucking disastrous.”

“Dave, you’re eighteen. What could you ask me that would cause a ‘super fucking disaster’ as you put it?”

“Well, like, what if I wanted to know about sex?”

Jake smirks. “You’re going to be a father. I think you learned that lesson a little _too_ well.”

“Not just how babies are made but let’s say I wanted to know about. Other stuff.”

“Other stuff?”

“Totally other stuff.”

“What possible ‘other stuff’ that you can’t find on the Internet do you have to ask me about?”

“Like, what if I wanted to get fucked instead of the other way around? Like, you never know what nutjobs will tell you or what people get wrong about anatomy. I’m sure you’ve seen the anatomical atrocities that is Bro’s private comic book collection or _doujin_ -whatever-they-are. I’m pretty sure most of that is incorrect and being a homosexual doesn’t make your hands twice the size of your head or turn your anus into a magical portal to the land of rainbows and elves. But shit, what do I know? Maybe it is that way. Maybe if you have sex with a troll and its like _boom,_ lucky charms and rainbow splooge everywhere.”

You have no idea what in the fuck you are talking about. This was a good analogy at some point. Now you’re talking about magic portals hidden in people’s butts.

Jake laughs and sits up, looking at you. “Oh my gods. What? Are you…?” He smirks. “Are you…asking me for advice about bottoming?”

You slam down on your poker face so hard that it would’ve made a lesser man’s head spin. “I didn’t say that.”

“You did in your own confounding way.” Jake chuckles. “Let me guess: Karkat wants to top and you’ve been saying no. But now that Karkat is actually top-size worthy, you’re curious.”

“No.” Fuck, why did you choose this topic? You want to kick Past Dave for blathering his subconscious thoughts.

“Dave, you’re blushing.”

“No.”

“As a veteran of topping, bottoming, three-ways and several-other-ways, let me give you some advice.”

You could have lived your life without the knowledge that Jake has been in three-ways. “This going to get weird is it?”

“Oh, it definitely is!” Jake laughs, “Now listen: _everyone_ has anxieties about subbing because its about trust and comfort. Same thing with bondage or anything else kinkier. Its not about control or forcing someone to do your bidding. Its about trust and communication. Your problem is that you’re not fond of communication. So subbing leaves you vulnerable. You’re afraid something will go wrong and that the other person won’t stop.”

You don’t know how to respond to that.

“Only _you_ can decide whether you’re ready. There’s no rush. Wait until you’re comfortable.”

This is getting embarrassing. Damn you, Past Dave. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this…”

“Because you wanted to know.” Jake sighs. “Sometimes I long to be young. All those past affairs and quick romances that I threw away…”

“You wish you could do it again?”

“No. I just wish I could tell Past Jake not to be such a selfish asshole to his friends and family.” He sighs. “I’m definitely not staying here during the wake. It’ll be awkward to see relatives. _If_ they even come.”

Jake has a forlorn look on his face and you know its best to leave him be for now. You can’t rip the bandage off and expect the wound to be completely healed. You go back downstairs and see Jade is still asleep and Karkat is still at work. You get a jump on your homework and read more chapters of _Wild Swan Lusii._ The book is a brick and so dry and boring that you’re barely floundering through it. You have no idea how Karkat could get so much into it. After ten minutes of reading you decide this is still boring. You get on your husktop. 

 

\--turntechGodhead [TG] added undyingWeaver[UW] and to the chat gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

TG: omfg wild swan lusii is boring as shit

GC: 4GR33D >:[

TG: no offense to your culture rose but if i have to read anymore about it anymore im going to go to the top of the nearest shongolian restaurant and chuck myself off it while eating spring rolls

UW: Spring rolls are a Chinese dish. It’d make more sense if you committing your suicide while eating lamb.

TG: thats it im chucking myself off the building say goodbye to karkat for me and tell my kid that his dad died a hero but he really couldnt take learning about shongolia anymore

UW: Actually, the Shongolians in Wild Swan Lusii are different from my Mother’s tribe. For one thing, they were not nomadic and secondly they spoke Oichin Shongolian. My mother’s family speaks Sharsi Shongolian. Thirdly my mother’s family was two generations removed from Shongolia and resided in Leder with other Shongolian immigrants. My family left around the time of the Monarchist Revolution.

TG: roooooooose i dont caaaaaaaaare

GC: 1 ST1LL DON’T R34LLY UND3RST4ND 4LL TH3 D14L3CTS 4ND TR1B3S YOUR HUM4N CONC3PT OF R4C3 1S CONFUS1NG!

UW: How is it confusing? Its no different from your hemospectrum. Each of your hemotypes have their own cultural beliefs.

GC: 1TS H4RD FOR TROLLS TO UND3RST4ND 4BOUT SK1N COLOR B31NG 4 B1G D34L S1NC3 W3’R3 4LL GR3Y

UW: Yes, but you make a big deal out of hemotype in the same way that humans do about race. It used to be a lot worse actually. The human race looked a lot different on Old Earth.

GC: 1F YOU D1DNT US3 TO H4V3 HORNS TH3N YOUR3 NOT TH4T D1FF3R3NT >:]

UW: No, but we had more variety to our skin tone. People used to normally come in paler shades and not just from albinism. As time went on, more interracial relationships took place. Thus why everyone in the human race are different shades of brown.

TG: except for me im white as snow

TG: totally an endangered species right here son

UW: That makes me wonder: Terezi, are there albino trolls?

GC: NOT TH4T 1 KNOW OF CONS1D3R1NG HOW H4RSH 4LT3RN14 W4S 1 DOUBT 4N 4LB1NO TROLL WOULD SURV1V3 TH3Y CULL3D MUT4T1ONS 4LL TH3 T1M3 TOO UNL3SS YOU W3R3 US3FUL L1K3 4 PS1ON1C

UW: Yes, but what about New Earth? Humans seem to be mutating at an accelerated rate. Is the same happening to trolls?

GC: NOT WH4T FROM 1 C4N T3LL

TG: by the way howre your eggs?

GC: TH3YR3 4DOR4BL3 B3C4US3 TH3YR3 M1N3 4ND 1 LOV3 TH3M >:]

TG: spoken like a true mom

GC: D4MN STR41GHT >:]

 

The lights briefly flicker in the trailer. They’re only off for a minute before they turn back on.

 

UW: What happened? Everyone suddenly disconnected.

TG: the power went out for a second

GC: 1 R34LLY H4T3 4UTUMN SOMET1M3S TH1S H4PP3NS 4LL THE T1M3

UW: The power stayed on here.

TG: it was probably just our neighborhood then

GC: HOWS J4D3 DO1NG BY TH3 W4Y?

TG: shes

TG: well shes not fine cause her grandfathers dead but

TG: shit i have no clue how shes doing

TG: im like the worst at comforting people

UW: I’m sorry for this, Dave. I wish I could talk to her but I don’t know what to say.

TG: rose its not really your fault

TC: your moms not the psycho who did this

UW: But I’m the one Joan is after.

GC: 1D B3 MOR3 WORR13D 4BOUT WH4T J4D3 W1LL DO

TG: what

GC: D4V3 H3R MOTH3R K1LL3D H3R GR4NDF4TH3R 4ND 1S ST1LL 4ROUND

GC: 1F 1 W3R3 J4D3 1 WOULD SHOOT H3R 1N TH3 H34D

TG: jade wouldnt do that

TG: shes good with a gun but i cant see her shooting her biological mother

GC: 1 C4N

GC: P3OPL3 DO 4 LOT OF TH1NGS WH3N TH31R R4G3 1S JUST1F13D

GC: TH4T WOM4N 1SNT H3R MOTH3R SH3 D1DN’T R41S3 J4D3 H3R GR4NDF4TH3R D1D 4ND NOW H3S D34D

UW: I can’t see Scrate tolerating an entire neighborhood defying him and the Cherubs.

TG: what are you saying?

UW: I’m saying that…I doubt the Cherubs will all just pack up and leave once they can’t find me. They’ll take someone else’s life.

UW: Gods know who else will be

UW: oh gods.

UW: my hair

TG: rose?

UW: no i just

UW: i was just running my fingers through my hair and

UW: and it just came out

GC: it?

UW: my hair

UW: my hair like a whole chunk of it just

UW: i

UW: i have to go

 

\--undyingWeaver[UW] is offline!--

 

TG: gods that cant be good

GC: NOP3

TG: i hope jade doesnt start losing her hair too

GC: SH3 M1GHT 1 TH1NK 1D LOS3 MY H41R 1F SOM3ON3 1 LOV3D D13D SO V1OL3NTLY

TG: speaking of that have you seen latula lately?

GC: Y34H SH3 C4M3 BY 4 W33K 4GO TO S33 TH3 3GGS

TG: i know its none of my business but the captors are two trailers down from me and i used to see latula go out shopping but now i rarely see her leave the trailer

GC: HM

GC: NOW TH4T YOU M3NT1ON 1T SH3 H4SNT HUGG3D M3 R3C3NTLY TH4TS 1NCR3D1BLY W31RD NOW TH4T 1M TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T

GC: WH4T COULD SH3 B3 H1D1NG…? >:[

TG: i dunno maybe ask sollux?

GC: 1 W1LL! >:]

 

\--gallowsCalibrator[GC] has now left the chat room!--

 

You have no idea what the results of that investigation will be. Latula lost her sense of smell a long time ago. You’re no doctor but you doubt that will have good implications in the long run.


	3. planning and countenance

**== >Dave: Be Kankri at the same moment**

You are Kankri and you are on your husktop in the living room. Terezi is lying down in the respiteblock with the eggs. They’re both so beautiful: teal and red and both so perfect. You’re constantly bubbling with the warmth of paternity but still shifting between hope and despair. You’re not sure if you’ll be a good father so you bury yourself in troll parenting books.

Currently, you are not reading but in a group chat.

 

TT: The situation here is deteriorating.

CA: so vwhat are you saying?

TT: We should prepare for conflict.

CG: C9nflict? What kind 9f “c9nflict”?

TT: The kind that involves roses and sunshine. The fuck kind of conflict do you think I’m talking about, Kankri? Jade’s grandfather was most likely murdered by Joan. We can’t take this shit lying down.

TG: whoa dirk calm down

TG: not all of us are hardened soldiers like you

TT: I’m sorry but I’m worried about what’s going on.  

CC: dirk its alright to admit youre worried about your cuddlefish

CC: he was still his father

TT: That’s not what bothers me. The Cherubs were able to kill a human in New Jack City without anyone noticing it. The police tend to take notice of that, even if they’re on mob payroll. But for Jade’s Grandfather’s disappearance, no one came forward. There was even a hefty reward offered along with protection.

TT: Nobody. Saw. Anything. And that’s what bothers me.

TT: The last time I interacted with Grandpa Harley, he said he was going to talk to Joan.

AT: 1’ve seen that pink haired psycho…hangs out near the motels and vacant lot…

GA: The vacant lo+t or the mo+tels wo+uld be a go+o+d place to+ murder so+meo+ne. That area is ro+tten with crime already.

AT: 1’ve seen her follow1ng the bait but she only stays on Park Avenue…won’t go down any side streets…doesn’t l1nger 1n the area long…

TT: That’s strange. Why only half follow someone?

CG: Dirk, I kn9w y9u 6alked at this suggesti9n in the past 6ut I think we need t9 talk t9 Kurl9z.

TT: No.

CG: Listen t9 me!

CG: Kurl9z is 6r9therh99d and the 6r9therh99d is allied with the Cheru6s. Kurl9z hasn’t said anything t9 them a69ut us and didn’t interfere when Karkat was a6ducted. S9. Dirk. Listen t9 me f9r 9nce and let us talk t9 Kurloz 6ecause he may kn9w s9mething we d9n’t.

TT: …fine.

AT: 1’ll ask him to join but he may be in a mood...

CC: what happened?

AT: 1 dunno…he’s just been 1n a crappy mood lately…hold on…

AT: alr1ght 1 th1nk 1 conv1nced h1m...roxy send me the passcode…

TG: okay

 

\--arborealTamer[AT] invited taciturnClown[TC] to the chat!--

 

TC: WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU WANT

CG: We want t9 see if y9u kn9w anything about what happened t9 Jade’s grandfather.

TC: I KNOW HES DEAD

TT: That’s super helpful, Kurloz. Thank you for coming.

TG: dirk you play nice with the clown

TT: I hate clowns.

TC: AND I HATE BLONDE ASSHOLES SO WERE ON THE SAME LEVEL

TT: Good.

CG: St9p it y9u tw9. I will get s9 ashen f9r the 69th 9f y9u s9 fast that y9ur heads will spin when I f9ci6ly pap y9u 69th at the same time.

TT: You wouldn’t dare.

CG: Try me. I kn9w where 69th 9f y9u live.

CG: Kurl9z, we’re w9rried the Cheru6s will hurt s9me9ne. I kn9w y9u may c9nsider this situati9n an ape pr96lem 6ut we need y9ur 9pini9n.

TC: I DONT CONSIDER THIS SITUATION AN APE PROBLEM

TC: THE CHERUBS ARE DANGEROUS MORONS AND THE BROTHERHOOD IS LEAD BY A FAR MORE DANGEROUS MORON

TC: IF THE CHERUBS WANT TO COME HERE AND MURDER US IN THE NIGHT WERE ON OUR OWN

TG: what do you mean?

TC: THE DD IS IN THE POCKET OF THE BROTHERHOOD AND THE UBK

TC: THE DD OWNS EAST END MOTELS AND MOST OF THE PARK

TC: FOR A STIPEND HE TURNS A BLIND EYE TO ACTIVITIES AND WAVES AWAY THE COPS

TC: HES NEUTRAL IN THESE CONFLICTS UNLESS IT HURTS HIS MONEY

TG: omfg that fucking rat is playing both sides!

GA: I am no+t surprised.

CC: me either

TT: But The Trussians own half of this neighborhood.

TC: AND THE BROTHERHOOD OWNS THE OTHER HALF AND WE DONT BOTHER EACH OTHER

TC: BUT OUR BLOCKS ARE ON THE DIVIDING LINE

TC: MY SIDE OF THE STREET IS BROTHERHOOD AND YOUR SIDE IS TRUSSIAN SAVE FOR ONE LOT

CG: Which l9t?

TC: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

TC: OUTSIDE OF THIS BLOCK THINGS GET SPOTTY AND YOU HAVE THE OCCASIONAL UBK UNTIL THEY BECOME MORE CLUSTERED AROUND EAST END WAY

TC: AND THE CHERUBS AND THE BROTHERHOOD ARE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

TC: THE CHERUBS ARE PROUD OF THEIR IMAGE THEY WILL DO SOMETHING MAJOR BEFORE THEY LEAVE NEW JACK CITY

CG: S9 9ur wh9le 6lock is in danger.

TC: TECHNICALLY THREE BLOCKS

CA: but vwhy vwould they come after us? roxy lives across the block

TC: ROXY ASSOCIATES WITH YOU

TC: IF ONE BLADE OF GRASS STICKS UP THEN YOU MOW THE WHOLE LAWN THATS THE KIND OF LOGIC THAT THE CHERUBS FOLLOW

TC: THIS IS ABOUT FEAR AND INTIMIDATION SO THAT NO ONE ELSE WILL CHALLENGE THEM IN THE FUTURE

TT: Exactly. They’re terrorists.

TC: A TRUSSIAN LISTENING TO A CLOWN? IT MUST BE A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE

TT: Why should I bother pretending we’re on opposite sides? We’re both criminals.

TC: TRUE

TT: You spoke truth so I’ll speak it back. Things won’t last like this for long.

TG: so the gloves are off then

TT: Yes.

CG: Its us 9r them.

CA: Vwhoa. Vwhat are you saying? are you talking about starting a gang war vwith the fucking cherubs??

AT: we’re not even a gang…

TC: NO NOT A GANG WAR

CG: This is a stand 9ff. We either defy the Cheru6s 9r lay d9wn and die at their hands.

CA: but thats crazy! people vwill *definitely* get hurt if you do that!

TT: Not if we plan accordingly. I survived urban conflicts before. I know how to ward off a mob of people trying to murder me or my friends and family.

TG: same

CG: I’m f9r this.

CA: kan you cant be serious.

CG: I a6h9r vi9lence 6ut I refuse t9 see any9ne get hurt due t9 my inacti9n. I w9uld rather 6e vi9lent and 6ear the sin than sit 9n the sidelines weeping f9r s9me9ne I l9ve. My father pr9tected me fr9m Cap9ne with just a sickle and a sh9tgun. I’m g9ing t9 d9 the same f9r my children.

TC: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN

CG: I’ll learn then.

TG: but my house isnt part of your block im across it  

TT: We have to lure them down Fordham Road.

CG: What a69ut a 6arricade?

CC: like in les mis 38?

CG: Well…yes. The Cheru6s are m9st likely t9 attack Lal9nde s9 they w9uld g9 d9wn Park Avenue first. We can make a 6arricade al9ng Park Avenue and Shaker Hill t9 keep them fr9m m9ving elsewhere. We push them d9wn F9rdham.

TC: OUT OF WHAT EXACTLY?

CG: We can make a 6arricade 9ut 9f gar6age, sheet metal, and garbage cans. We have plenty 9f that.

CC: we have a fucking *surplus* of that

TT: It could work if we move fast enough.

AT: 1 can keep a lookout for trouble but what about everyone that’s pregnant or has eggs…?

TG: yeah we need to put them somewhere safe

TT: The homes on Weatherborn Lane are fortified against attack. We can use them. The issue is communicating to the kids about the when and why they need to move. We’re not springing into action until the Cherubs make a move.

CA: and vwhat am i supposed to do? just sit around vwith my claw up my vwaste chute vwhile you guys play risk?

CG: Cr9nus, y9u’re imp9rtant t99. Y9u’re in the Squal9r. Y9u’ll 6e the first t9 kn9w if s9mething’s 9ff.

CA: then i think this is a mistake. nothings happened so far. the cherubs hawvent made a mowve and the brotherhood and ubk are still shooting at each other.

TC: THAT DOESNT MEAN WE SHOULDNT BE PREPARED

GA: Kurlo+z, what will you do+?

TC: WHAT I ALWAYS DO

 

\--taciturnClown[TC] has left the chat room!--

 

GA: He’s being mo+re cryptic than usual.

AT: 1 told you…he’s been 1n a mood…

CA: i hawve to go myself.

CG: Take care, Cr9nus.

CA: ill keep you updated.

 

\--cursoryAquarium[CA] has left the chat room!--

 

TG: i have a stockpile of ammo and weapons but i dunno bout you guys

CC: i have my 2xdent

TT: You mean the rusting pipes you duct taped together?

CC: oh yeah 38)

TT: We may have to get you something sharper and more practical.

CC: i dont like guns though 38/

TT: Stockpiling guns is a bad idea. For one thing, it attracts unwanted attention. We need the element of surprise on our side.

AT: d1rk’s r1ght…the best idea 1s to rely on 1mprov1sat1onal weapons…

GA:  They wo+uldn’t expect a chainsaw.

AT: 1 said 1mprov1sat1onal…not impract1cal…

GA: A chainsaw is practical if yo+u want the jo+b do+ne fast.

TT: No chainsaws. We don’t want loud and unwieldy. The Cherubs are going to rely on guns. That has the most firepower and will produce the fastest and most lethal result. We need the element of surprise so we’re going to use some firearms but rely on melee and ranged weapons along with shielding. We know this neighborhood better than they do so we have an advantage there.

TT: A good idea is a sturdy tool: large hammers, axes, crowbars, machetes. If you can drop it on your foot from eye level and break something, then that’s the best weight. Sporting equipment is also good. Baseball bats, golf clubs, hockey sticks, football helmets, cricket bats, and ice skates for swinging weapons.

TT: You can also make weapons. Gluing or duct-taping nails to a bat can make a mace. You can turn a metal broomstick handle into a spear. Attaching razor blades to a bat can give you a macauahuitl. I can loan out broken rifles so the stocks can be used as clubs.

CG: I’m n9t sure a69ut my strength. What a69ut ranged weap9ns?

TT: Molotov cocktails always works against groups but the fight will most likely be outdoors. If its raining, a match may be hard to light. You can also make pressure bombs by putting the same ingredients of a Molotov cocktail in a container and lugging it into the rain. It’ll still explode and do some damage if you put shrapnel in it. You can make homemade projectiles using rubber, nylon, or other stretchy materials. You can make bows with PVC pipe and use broken glass to make arrows. You can also make your own pepper spray to throw in people’s faces but you have to be cautious of the wind.

TT: Throwing a handful of loose change also works in a pinch. That stings like hell if you hit them in face.

TG: and lancing?

TT: A really good umbrella or a metal pipe with razors on the end.

CG: And shields?

TT: Backpack, garbage can lid, abandoned car door, fortified shopping cart…anything that’s heavy and will take a hit or a bullet.

AT: 1 think we’re all going to have to pract1ce and get the mater1als just 1n case…better safe than sorry...

TT: We all need to practice OCOKA. Observation and fields of fire, Cover and concealment, Obstacles, Key terrain, Avenues of approach.

CG: I just h9pe we’re fretting f9r n9thing and all 9f this will 6l9w 9ff with9ut any9ne getting hurt.

TT: I hope the same but I have considerable doubt.

TG: same

 

You divide supply responsibilities amongst you and arrange when to test them. One by one people leave the chat room and then its just Dirk and you. If you were in physical space, you’d be staring each other down.

 

TT: Are you afraid?

CG: I fear m9re f9r my children, matesprit, and kismesis than I d9 f9r myself.

TT: I still don’t understand how you could quadrant with a clown after what they did to you.

CG: Kurl9z is n9t like them. He may ass9ciate with them 6ut that’s f9r financial reas9ns. If Kurl9z had a well-paying j96, he w9uldn’t 69ther with the 6r9therh99d. I pity him 6ecause 9f his situati9n.

TT: You’re supposed to hate him.

CG: I can hate and pity him if I ch99se s9!

CG: Y9u kn9w, Dirk, y9u can 6e very insensitive. I happen t9 6e half purple6l99d, y9u twit.

TT: Yes, and your conception isn’t going to prove me wrong about clown nature.

CG: Y9u are s9 infuriating. If y9u were a tr9ll, I’d 6e pitch f9r y9u.

TT: …

CG: …

TT: I’m also married.

CG: 9h like that matters t9 y9u humans. Y9u pr9fess the sanctity 9f y9ur human marriage 6ut y9u shift y9ur definition if it suits y9u. S9metimes y9ur marriages inv9lve 9ne pers9n and then it can inv9lve f9ur. Y9ur hus6and is a pansexual gun-t9ting man child. I d9u6t he’d reject the idea 9f the suggesti9n 9f p9lyam9ur9us relatin9nship.

TT: I’m not attracted to you.

CG: I’m n9t attracted t9 y9u either! I said “if” n9t “I wish”! Just 6ecause I kn9w y9u h9unded after my father d9esn’t mean I’m g9ing t9 h9pe y9u fall thinkpan 9ver heels in hate with me.

TT: I wasn’t hounding after your father. We were friends.

CG: 6ullshit. #y9u are tagged #6ecause that is #s9999 6ullshit #s9 much 6ullshit is a trigger f9r s9me9ne wh9 detects it easily

TT: I’m not having this conversation.

CG: Dirk, we’re 69th adults and my father is dead. Let’s even the playing field. I may have 6een an easily manipulated fat ass, 6ut I wasn’t 6lind 9r stupid. My father and Jake have the same 69dy type, even th9ugh they’re 9f a different pers9nality. We have similar tastes in men.

TT: Oh my fucking god.

TT: Neither you nor Karkat can tell the difference between ‘respect’ and ‘affection’ and yes, I know respect can be a kind of affection I see you fucking typing hold the fuck on, Kankri.

CG: I am h9lding the fuck 9n, num6nuts.

TT: You just fucking typed something!

CG: Y9u type t99 sl9w! 9ld arthritic w9men on typewriters type faster than y9u!

TT: That’s because I’m reasoning out my thoughts in a precise manner and I don’t want my writing to be full of horrible typos like yours!

CG: I d9n’t make typ9s. Y9u just want t9 talk d9wn t9 every9ne.

CG: 999h l99kit me. I’m Dirk and I’m super smart 6ecause I was a Trussian s9ldier and every69dy l9ves me cause I’m awes9me and I speak like five different languages. 6ig fucking wh99p.

TT: I am awesome and it burns you up inside that you wish you were me.

CG: I think the reverse is true, Strider. I may n9t 6e in as great physical c9nditi9n and still have c9nsidera6le psych9l9gical issues 6ut I’m n9t 9verwhelmed with fear. Y9u have s9 much and still y9u fret 9ver every damn thing.

TT: Why are you even doing this? We get along for five minutes and then the minute we’re alone you say or do something to irritate the hell out of me! Its like you have a hard-on for my personal misery!

TT: Oh my fucking god.

TT: You’re hitting on me!

CG: Dirk, just 6ecause I wish y9u were a tr9ll d9es n9t mean I’m hitting 9n y9u.

TT: I don’t mean just now, I mean all this fucking time you were doing it! That whole thing with you being possessive of the Signless and annoying toward me: you weren’t trying to get rid of me. You were fucking hitting on me for black! And it frustrated you because you were already in a pitch relationship and couldn’t have me.

CG: I am n9t hitting 9n y9u. Gr9ss. #super gr9ss #n9 #n9pe #and d9u6le n9pe

TT: And now comes the denial.

CG: Its 9nly denial if its true.

TT: Then why have you been harassing me for the past half-hour about absolutely nothing?

CG: I like talking t9 y9u.

TT: Oh look who’s spouting the bullshit now.

TT: #should I hashtag that too?

CG: Y9u start hashtagging things and I will get straight up caligin9us in here, m9therfucker.

TT: #you mean #youre gonna stop ignoring #your super serious case of

TT: #denial

CG: St9p it. #im seri9us #like seri9usly #fuck y9u

TT: #no #fuck you

TG: um should i close the chat

 

Dirk and you pause in your mutual sassing.

 

 

CG: R9xy, h9w l9ng have y9u 6een here?

TG: lol like the whole time

TT: Why…?

TG: im the one that made the chat i have admin privileges and stuff

TG: i was getting ready to close it but then you two were like being super pitch adorbs

TG: i should totes send this convo to jakey itll cheer him up

TT: You will do no such thing.

CG: D9nt tell any9ne a69ut this ever!  

TG: aww but its like super cute and kanny i think you have more kismesis chemistry with dirk

TT: I’m married!

CG: I have a kismesis!

TG: yeah but this is sexier

TT: Nope. I am noping out of this.

 

\--timaeusTestified[TT] has left the chat!--

 

TG: lol guess youre not the only one in denial

CG: I’m n9t attracted t9 Dirk. I’m n9t attracted t9 humans.

TG: i liek doubt that but whatevs

CG: I’m seri9usly n9t! Its just that when my heat cycle appr9aches I 6ec9me aggressive. I rand9mly hit 9n pe9ple. I spent part 9f my last check getting gru6 c9ntr9l. Its n9t a g99d idea t9 cuddle a cl9wn and then say “S9rry, we can’t g9 further 9r we will 6e up t9 9ur ankles in kids”.

TG: is that why kurloz is mad?

CG: N9. He’s mad f9r a reas9n I’m n9t all9wed t9 talk a69ut.

TG: oooh it must be something bad

CG: Yes, 6ut m9ving 9n: I d9n’t hate Dirk.

TG: yes you do

CG: 9kay, I d9 6ut 9nly a little. And 9nly 6ecause I find him t9 6e a manipulative dick wh9 pulls the “w9e is me” act a little t99 much. I want t9 punch him in the face, pin him d9wn, and say “Y9u ann9ying fuck. Quit punishing y9urself. Y9u have a great life and pe9ple that l9ve y9u. S9 what if the Signless is dead? He’d 6e a l9t pr9uder 9f y9u than me. Y9u were a6le t9 save my fucking s9n s9 I’m always g9ing t9 6e grateful t9 y9u. N9w just 6e fucking happy f9r 9nce, y9u giant 6l9nde d9uchen9zzle.”

CG: And then I’d ride his dick and Jake w9uld watch.

TG: omfg i iike sprayed out my drink reading that

CG: I didn’t mean t9 write that last part. #just ign9re that #ign9re it #IGN9RE IT

TG: you totally sound like karkat ahaha its so cuuuute

TG: like father like son

CG: Its n9t my fault I wr9te that. I’m experiencing PCA.

TG: pca?

CG: Pre Heat-Cycle Aggressi9n. Its typically c9mm9n in high6l99ds 6ut it can cr9p up in certain tr9lls. Namely, if y9u’re partly high6l99d like I am.

TG: so the pca is to blame for those pics of you on trollbook grabbing terezis glute X3c

CG: That was 9ne time and I t9ld Meenah a hundred times n9t t9 p9st that!

TG: i think your inner highblood is showing

CG: Its n9t. I’m n9t c9mf9rta6le with my inner high6l99d. The last time they sh9wed up, I 6ludge9ned s9me9ne t9 death with a ta6le leg. High6l99d Kankri is a danger9us m9nster I can’t c9ntr9l.  

TG: maybe you should talk to cronus or meenah?

CG: Meenah is kind 9f a huge 6itch s9metimes, even if we’re 9n 6etter terms these days.

TC: yeah i know :/

CG: 9h I have t9 g9. Terezi is calling me.

TG: alright then :)

 

\--caringGnostic[CG] has left the chat!--

 

Terezi isn’t calling you. You just can’t stay in the chat any longer thinking of those… _feelings_. You take a cold shower but don’t feel calmer. You drink more tea but you know in the end, its not going to stop you when the heat cycle finally comes.

You do check on Terezi though. She’s lying on her nest next to the eggs reading history homework. The eggs are hidden in a tiny nest of old towels and blankets.

You climb behind her and kiss the back of her neck. “How are you feeling?”

Terezi smiles. “I’m fine now that I’m back down to my original weight.”

She wasn’t _exactly_ down to her original weight. She has an additional twenty pounds to drop from eating Doritoes and chugging soda during pregnancy but you’re not going to dispute her. You don’t have a death wish.

“I…want to tell you that there may be a conflict in the future with the Cherubs.” you say, “I want you and the grubs to be safe and I’m worried that—”

“ _Kankri_.” Terezi sighs. She gently headbutts you, to which you purr and press your forehead against hers. “I’m not _completely_ helpless. Everyone knows what happened to Jade’s grandfather.”

“Are you worried?”

“Of _course_ I am but fear isn’t going to rule me.” Terezi smiles. “I still want to be a detective, and part of being a detective is dealing with dangerous situations.”

“But what about the eggs?”

“I’m never going to let them get hurt. Khanie and Kempie are going to grow into perfect little angels.” She hugs you. “They’ll get to play with their cousin Suxxor all the time.”

“I still can’t believe Sollux named his child that…” You shake your head, knowing Eridan must have picked such an awful name at purpose.

Terezi chuckles. “Not as bad as ‘Solluxander’.”

“Was that an option?” You asks, laughing.

“Eridan said Solluxander will be the next one. Every time he has to have a kid with Sollux he’s going to give them increasingly awful names.”

“ _That_ should be a deterrent to Sollux.” Or you hope it will. Yellowbloods tend to throw caution to the wind when they’re horny.

Terezi doesn’t respond. She strokes the tealblood egg, frowning.

“Are you having second thoughts about the adoption?” you ask.

Terezi shakes her head. “Its not like I’ll never see them but I’m worried they’ll hate me for giving them up.”

“I doubt it. Its not like they’re going to be far away. You can always see them.”

She smiles sadly. “Its hard to explain things like that to kids. It took forever for Sollux to understand how Mituna is.”

You wonder how Sollux will explain Mituna’s condition to his child. “Do you want me to call Latula and see if she’ll come over to talk? Maybe exchange some parenting tips?”

Terezi shakes her head. “Its alright, Kankri…”

“Alright…”

You hold your matesprit close and try to ignore lingering doom. Even with the psionic-dampening tea, your head pulses like a doomed clock counting down your fears. You smell gun-powder in the air and hear the cracking shots of firearms.

Something is coming and you don’t know how much longer you can keep your fears at bay.


End file.
